How many of us actually learned to build romantic relationships? Where did we learn this: at home or maybe at school? There are art and the science behind building strong relationships. These 10 important tips were written by j4l.com dating services mostly for couples in love, but you can apply them both to family and business relationships.
1) Create a safe environment that favors trust and openness
Don’t interrupt your partner when they’re talking, even if you have to close your mouth with your hands. Don’t threaten anyone. Apologize if you know that it’s necessary. If you’re too angry to truly hear your partner, just stop for a moment. Go to another room, take a deep breath, and calm down. Remember: your partner is not an enemy.
2) Separate facts from feelings
What feelings did you experience during quarrels and arguments? Ask yourself: is there something in your past that has an effect on how you see the situation now? You will have to ask yourself one more important question: is your partner and their position the cause of the confrontation, or the reason is in you? Where’s the truth? After you can separate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and will be able to end arguments peacefully.
3) Engage all your feelings
Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a chorus or an orchestra with a few voices. What does your mind say? What does your heart say? What does your body say? For example, my mind says: “I should dump this girl,” but my heart says: “I love her so much.” Let these voices coexist peacefully in you, listen to all of them. This way you’ll find the true answer that will characterize your personality.
4) Develop compassion
Learn to watch yourself and your partner without judging too much. Part of you, perhaps, judges this or that action, but you shouldn’t be guided by some conclusions that might turn out to be false. Compassion, on the other hand, is a completely different thing. When you’re compassionate, you’re open and more available for dialogue with your partner. Compassion will teach you to see your partner from a different angle.
5) Create a “we” that can accommodate the two “I”
The basis for prosperous, developing, and mutually supportive relationships lays in being able to become whole with your partner without forgetting about yourself. In a co-dependent relationship, each person sacrifices a piece of their personality, endangering a relationship as a whole. When you’re whole and separate at the same time, your own “I” contributes to the creation of a shared “we.”
6) Darling, heal yourself
Don’t expect that your partner will fill your emotional voids, and you shouldn’t try to fill those in your loved one. Ultimately, only we can heal ourselves. Your partner can only become a favorable basis for healing mental wounds. In relationships, healing happens by itself.
7) Feed the differences between you
The differences between you and your partner are not the bad thing. You don’t have to be with someone who needs to share your views and passions. Sometimes we fear that these differences will make us incompatible, but in fact, they only kindle the fire of love between you.
8) Ask questions
Too often, we interpret the behavior of our partners in our own way. For example: “She doesn’t want to hug me, so she probably doesn’t love me.” If you don’t understand something, ask about it, and don’t try to explain it yourself.
9) Find some time for your relationship
No matter how busy you are, you should devote time to developing your relationship. Be sure that this task is on your tight schedule. It means spending time together, going on dates, and socializing.
10) Say hard words without forgetting about your love
When you need to say something hard to your partner, don’t forget how much you love them. Regardless of the situation, point your energy in the right direction and try to speak constructively.
via: INFORMATION NIGERIA